


The Phony Snore

by Talis_Borne



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Gen, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 18:33:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18970720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talis_Borne/pseuds/Talis_Borne
Summary: I always wondered about Uther’s little snore after Merlin pulled the beetle from his ear.  Faking it, maybe?





	The Phony Snore

Merlin leaned against the column in the King's dining hall and tried not to shuffle uncomfortably. Uther sat alone in his accustomed place surrounded by scrolls; various reports of the state of the kingdom. He'd been frowning at the same scroll for the last twenty minutes and he didn't seem inclined to set it aside any time soon. Absently, the King reached for his goblet, but found it empty when it reached his lips. He frowned, set it down and reached for the pitcher to pour himself some more water. 

"Here, let me," said Merlin, stepping forward as was appropriate for there was no other servant in the room to pour for the King. 

Uther's eyes snapped up at the servant's tread. "I said stay still! Is that too difficult an order for you to follow?" 

Merlin retreated the step he'd taken and retook his stance in front of the pillar. Uther's hand shook as he poured the water and he had to steady the pitcher with his other hand. The King glared over the rim of his goblet at the servant and went back to the document he'd been perusing. Merlin glanced at the clerestory windows. The midmorning sun hadn't moved much since the last time he'd looked. 

The door swung open softly and Arthur's blond head peeked in. "There you are," the Prince said accusingly to his servant as he entered the room properly. "I overslept and had to get another servant to get my breakfast. Where have you been all morning?" 

"He's been here," said the King harshly. 

Arthur instantly inclined his head to his sovereign. "Of course, Father, if you have need of Merlin…" 

Uther interrupted, "I have no need of him." 

Confused, Arthur began, "Then in that case, he has duties…" 

"Leave him," commanded the King. 

Arthur advanced a tentative step. "Father, I don't understand." 

"Get out, Arthur," said the King, returning his attention to his scrolls. 

Firmly, Arthur advanced two more steps. "You're not well, Father. The events of last night…" 

The King snapped, "Fetch Gaius." 

Arthur bowed and went to the door to order the guard there to fetch the physician but, the King interrupted him again. "I said for you to fetch Gaius, yourself, now." 

The confusion was back in Arthur's eyes, but he walked away rapidly to carry out his King's order. When he returned with the old physician, he allowed Gaius to precede him into the room and stayed by the door. Gaius bowed to his King and waited while Uther rose from his chair. 

Uther stood for a moment, his jaw working in anger. Throwing out his hand to point at Merlin he exclaimed, "I will not have **_that_** in my castle." 

"I don't understand, Sire," said Gaius mildly. 

"I wasn't asleep last night," growled the King. 

Merlin paled and shrank back against the column, his palms flat against it. Arthur's eyes flicked between his Father and his servant. 

Gaius straightened in surprise. "Ah. In that case I congratulate you on your restraint, Sire." 

"Gaius!" admonished the King. "You've been protecting him." 

Gaius folded his hands in front of him. "Until I was certain, Sire, and I am." 

"I won't allow this!" yelled the King, his heart sinking at the confirmation of his suspicions. 

"I gave you a warning once before, Sire," said Gaius sternly. "I beg you to remember what you lost then and heed my warning now. Do not interfere." 

Uther's eyes ticked between Arthur and Merlin. He trembled as he said, "No." 

Gaius took a step forward, his hands swinging loose at his side, staring into his sovereign's eyes. "Sire, this is Arthur's decision, it has to be, you must not interfere." 

"And are you not interfering, Physician?" demanded the King. 

"Not between them, no," replied Gaius calmly. 

"So you're just managing me?" snarled Uther. 

"You are my responsibility," said Gaius doggedly. 

Uther's face suddenly purpled and he collapsed into his chair with quick shallow breaths. Gaius instantly stepped forward and picked up the King's wrist to check his pulse. 

"What's wrong?" asked Arthur urgently, striding forward quickly, intent on checking on his Father himself. 

"Your father is merely overwrought," Gaius reassured him. "He needs to rest." 

"I'm not overwrought," shouted the King, snatching his wrist out of the physician's grasp. "I'm furious! That THAT should be in my castle, serving my son…!" 

Arthur looked around in bewilderment. "Merlin, get out!" he ordered. 

"No!" shouted Uther, his eyes boring into the servant. Merlin froze after having taken only a single step, his expression terrified. Uther grated, "No. He will not leave." 

"Father," said Arthur sternly, "if Merlin has done something to offend you, I'll see to it he's punished. What happened last night?" 

Hoarsely, Uther replied, "He used magic… on me." 

Arthur looked at his father disbelievingly. "Merlin's a sorcerer?" 

Uther snorted and nodded. "And a powerful one." 

Arthur looked to Merlin, his eyes still incredulous. "You used magic on my father?" 

Merlin's hands flew everywhere as he spoke. "Ah, now, Arthur, no." 

The Prince snapped, "Are you calling my Father a liar?" 

"No, no," Merlin assured him, his hands still flapping until he settled them on his hips. "I mean, yes, I'm a sorcerer and I used magic, but on the beetle Edwin had put in your father's ear so it would eat out his brain. Calling it with magic was the only way to get it out again." 

"I told him to do it," said Gaius prosaically. 

"You told him…?" shrilled Arthur, his eyes blown wide in shock. 

"I will deal with Gaius," barked Uther. He waved his hand at Merlin. "You deal with that." 

"I would have used my own magic, Sire," said the physician reassuringly, "but I haven't the power that was needed." 

"Now who's interfering?" snapped Uther. 

The Prince's eyes ticked back and forth incredulously between his Father and the old physician. Then he set his shoulders determinedly and walked up to Merlin slowly, staring him straight in the eyes. "Merlin, you've been a loyal servant, but you'll burn in the morning." 

Merlin shrieked, "For saving the King's life?!? And how about yours? Do you know how many times I've already saved your overdressed hide? I wouldn't give two figs for either of your chances to make it to the end of the year without someone who understands magic on your side. In fact, how have you even lasted this long?" 

"Nimueh's protection spell," Gaius dropped in flatly. 

"Gaius!" protested the King loudly. 

"What?" demanded the Prince. 

"It faded with Arthur's twentieth birthday," said Gaius casually. Merlin's jaw dropped. 

"GAIUS!" roared the King. "One more word and YOU burn in the morning." 

"Father, what is going on?" shouted the Prince. 

Gaius smiled at his King genially. "I've had a long and good life, Sire. If it must end now, so be it, though I will be very sorry to miss the incredibly interesting times that are coming." 

"FATHER!" screamed Arthur. 

Uther looked up at his son sternly. "Arthur, I am your King." 

Normally this would have ended any objections Arthur would have made, but this was not a normal situation, in fact the situation had taken a decided turn into the surreal. "This is a bad dream," said Arthur, shaking his head. 

"There's an idea," muttered Merlin. 

"Don't even think about it!" shouted Arthur, hurling himself at his servant. 

Merlin snapped a hand up. His eyes burning golden, he hurled Arthur across the room. The Prince landed on his back and rolled to his feet with a growl. He took a step to the side, starting to circle to assess his usually clumsy manservant anew as a magic wielding opponent. Merlin's eyes rounded fearfully, but he widened his stance in anticipation of Arthur's next attack. 

Gaius said casually, "I'd suggest we retire, Sire. I doubt they'll seriously harm each other, but furniture and bystanders are not likely to fare well." 

"I'm not leaving," insisted Uther, gripping the armrests of his chair. 

"Very well, Sire," said Gaius, folding his hands in front of him and turning his attention to the combatants. 

Merlin and Arthur paused to stare incredulously at the older men. 

"Father!" Arthur shrieked, even more high pitched this time. "What is going on?" 

"You're facing a dangerous sorcerer," replied Uther in a tone that implied his son should get on with it. 

Arthur looked at Merlin, whose hands were still raised defensively, but who had made no move to continue the fight. Arthur decided to ignore him for the moment, just to see what he would do. "Dangerous enough that you've had him with you all morning with no guard?" the Prince asked his Father belligerently. 

Uther sucked in his cheeks. "He was unaware he'd been discovered." 

Arthur took a thoughtful step. "And yet, he could have done anything to you. You aren't in any state to fend him off." 

Slowly, Uther grated, "Arthur, escort the sorcerer to the dungeon." 

Arthur chanced a glance at his servant out of the corner of his eye. "Do you think they're holding out on us?" 

"Eh, usually," replied Merlin. 

Arthur pursed his lips. His eyes blazing with fury, he commanded, "Merlin, return to your duties." 

Merlin protested, "But you just said…" as Uther exploded, "You're under a spell!" 

"And when would Merlin have cast such an enchantment, Father?" asked Arthur coolly. 

"Just now, when he threw you across the room!" 

"Huh," said Arthur as he looked at Merlin and then back at his Father. "I seem to recall that sorcerers usually need some time to cast enchantments." 

"Merlin's not just any sorcerer, my Lord," said Gaius. 

"Gaius," hissed Merlin. "Not helping." 

"No, I suppose not," said Arthur, walking over to Merlin casually. "There aren't many sorcerers who'd be stupid enough to live in the city, much less the castle itself." He paused thoughtfully, looking Merlin up and down while his servant glared at him defiantly. "I gave you an order, Merlin. For once, be intelligent and follow it." 

Merlin's brow knitted together in momentary confusion. Then he bowed to the Prince and the King and left the room. 

"You're letting him get away!" shouted the King. 

"I don't think so," snapped Arthur. "I think I'll find him in my chambers later. And I think he'll wake me in the morning. And I'll remind him he's under a sentence of death, after all, he is a sorcerer." Arthur turned to go. 

"He'll kill you," thundered the King. "He'll murder you in your sleep." 

"Funny," said Arthur calmly. "He's had weeks to do that. Instead, he drank poison for me. I'd be at least as concerned about the dangerous sorcerer standing by your side. But then, he's saved both our lives, more than once." Arthur stepped between the double doors with his Father calling after him. 

Uther slammed palms on the armrests of his chair in fury and looked up at his physician, who was staring delightedly after the Prince. "What are you giggling at, Gaius?" he thundered. 

"Destiny," replied the physician with a knowing smile. "Are you now going to order every knight in the kingdom after my ward, or you going to be reasonable?" 

"I don't see what there is to be reasonable about, Physician," grumbled the King, but the headache forming like a breaking tide behind his eyes wasn't caused by indecision. 

Gaius actually pulled up a chair and sat facing his monarch - without permission! Folding his hands in his lap, he leaned toward the King. "We both knew that Arthur's sorcerer would show up someday. How many seers and sages materialized while Ygraine carried him?" 

Uther snorted and looked away from his most trusted confidant. "They could not find Emrys." 

"Because he hadn't been born yet," said Gaius, a smile twitching the corner of his mouth. "None of us thought of it. We all assumed the great sorcerer had to at least be a young man before Arthur was born so he would be well steeped in learning. No one thought he might be the younger of the two." 

Uther put his face into his hands, massaging his temples and brow. Gaius laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and the King shrugged him off angrily. 

Gaius sighed. "Sire. Arthur is grown man and the best knight in the kingdom. Let him deal with Merlin as he wills. I think you will not be disappointed." 

Uther raised his eyes. "Not disappointed to see him defy me?" 

"Oh, well, he's going to do that anyway. Young men defy their fathers and you've raised this one to be a king. If he never had a thought for himself, he wouldn't be worthy to be your heir. May as well give him the issue and keep it private." 

"And then he'll defy me in everything else," snapped the King. 

Gaius sat up straight and raised an eyebrow. "Do you find your son so lacking as to think him stupid, Sire?" 

"Don't manage me, Physician," snapped the King. 

"Then manage yourself," said Gaius bitingly, rising to his feet. 

"That brat of yours has no discretion," barked Uther. "He'll be found out in a week and then what am I to do? A sorcerer under my very nose? I'd look ridiculous in the eyes of my nobles." 

"I'd hate to be the noble that tried to make you look ridiculous, Sire. I think everyone remembers what happened the last time." 

Uther frowned. The physician made a good point. He'd have to plan how to brazen it out if the young sorcerer couldn't adequately hide his magic, but it should only become a problem if he did something monumentally obvious. As long as he made it clear he had known and expected Arthur to keep a leash on his creature… "Something for my headache please, Gaius. And bring it to my chamber. I'm going to need sleep before sparring with Arthur at dinner tonight." 

Gaius gave a half bow. "Well thought, my Lord." 

Uther put some force behind his next order. "And, Gaius, try to teach that boy some discretion." 

"Discretion is learned by experience. I'm hopeful Arthur may be more successful in those lessons than I have been. Young men always think themselves immortal." 

Uther snorted. "I thought that's what 'Emrys' meant." 

Gaius cocked his head. "It does, but it will be a long time before we know if it's meant literally. Certainly long past my lifetime." Gaius bowed and turned to fetch the King his draught, but Uther called him back. 

"Gaius. Are you sure? This is Emrys? This…IDIOT…is the learned and powerful sorcerer of prophesy who's supposed to keep my son safe?" 

Gaius chuckled as he turned to face his King. "If he's not, we should both be terrified. Merlin is the most powerful sorcerer I've ever met. Certainly, he has more raw power than Nimueh. And it's not under good control." Uther cringed, but Gaius didn't let him interrupt. "Now that Arthur knows, he may be able to help. In fact, I've theorized it has to be the bond between them that's stabilizing Merlin's magic as much as it is. As for being learned, I'm pouring knowledge into Merlin's brain as fast as he'll take it… and he is a fast learner. His mother did a good job teaching him the basics of reading and figuring. What he needs most is practice… somewhere he's not likely to destroy large pieces of the castle in the process." 

"Or my son!" shouted Uther. 

Gaius frowned at Uther. "He's already saved your son a handful of times and you now as well. It's not like Arthur's never faced danger. You've sent him into battle." 

"But he can't protect himself from magic with a sword," said Uther grimly. 

"Which is why he needs Merlin as his shield," responded Gaius reasonably, "though enchanting a shield to deflect magic might be a good project for Merlin if Arthur's going to be around while he's practicing." 

"You're quite determined to drag magic back into this land, aren't you, Gaius?" asked the King acerbically. 

"It's already here, Highness," responded the physician. "Whether you will it or not, magic exists. You can kill the sorcerers, but more will be born. Magic won't disappear at your command." 

"But perhaps at Arthur's?" asked the King tiredly. 

Gaius' shoulders shivered with an irritated breath. "With a sufficiently powerful sorcerer at his side, perhaps." 

Uther slumped back in his chair. "Then I will give your ward a chance, and hope my legacy may still come to pass. Arthur is my son after all, and I've taught him well." He waved a hand, dismissing the physician. 

Gaius bowed to his King and quit the room. Uther ignored the fury in the old man's face. Two old men, waiting for their own deaths in the hopes the next generation would carry out their legacies. Uther would never know the results of this duel, but he'd have to work hard to outsmart such a canny opponent. "Round one to you, old man," Uther whispered in the direction of the doors Gaius had disappeared through. 


End file.
